I feel so embarrassed with this blog. It seems like such a loserish thing to do. I know it's more safe from my family than a diary or journal, but the world can see this (not that the world DOES see it, or CARES to see it). I would absolutely die if anyone I know read this. Who really cares, though? You only live once....
I have this really strong and bitter smell stuck in my nose. I don't even know from where it came. I opened our dictionary to look up a word for my essay, and the smell just came from nowhere. I can't believe that dictionary would hold such an odd scent, but I guess it's possible.
^You know you're a boring person when...
I somewhat reget ever meeting my crush (oh, come on!- you knew I would mention him...it was only a matter of time...lol). No one is even satisfactory compared to him, and I doubt I can ever truly be happy until I know what it is like to be with him. I don't want to wonder anymore, I want to KNOW!
Since this is mainly for my use, so I don't forget the most important and beautiful moments of my life (not that I COULD....): On the band trip, I was really being stalkerish, which I'm not very good at hiding. Anyway, I got some of the other guys in the hotel room to let me hang out in the living room while they played cards in the adjacent room. When they were done playing cards, they all came in the living room and he sat down on the couch, right next to me. He restlessly channel surfed for a bit, pausing on "Family Guy" and "Without a Paddle" for five minutes each, until he decided we should all learn how to play "Kaiser". Of course I joined, although my mind is always highly reluctant in situations where I could make mistakes. After a game, we had to go back to our own hotel rooms. At the door, he caught me by surprise by saying "Goodnight hug" and hugging me from the side ('cause I have such a slow thought process that I didn't turn in time for a real hug). I wish I knew what was going on with that. Was he being polite? Is he leading me on? Does he think/know he's leading me on? I'm so confused. I just wish I could make eye contact long enough to search his soul for the answer.
Sorry, but I gotta run. Perhaps I'll write next month. Lol.